


Dumb Virgin

by Strange and Intoxicating -rsa- (strangeandintoxicating)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Keith (Voltron), First Time, Hook-Up, M/M, Mentions of Keith/Adam, Mentions of Shiro/Man, Professor/Student except not really, Rimming, Safer Sex, Teacher-Student Relationship, Top Shiro (Voltron), grindr hookup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 07:54:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21012344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangeandintoxicating/pseuds/Strange%20and%20Intoxicating%20-rsa-
Summary: First year at Arizona University is turning into a hot mess for Keith Arus.After getting dumped by his boyfriend for being a 'dumb virgin', Keith goes trolling on Grindr to try and find someone to take his virginity the day before classes start. He finds the most gorgeous man he’s ever seen before to pop his cherry.Only problem?His hookup is Professor Shirogane.Keith’s screwed.





	Dumb Virgin

**Author's Note:**

> This was a twitter thread-fic that has been cleaned up for Ao3. You can find me over on twitter under @mssaifox

Keith Arus was many things, but a dumb virgin he certainly was _not_. 

Well.

Virgin, sure. 

Dumb? 

Definitely not. 

Then again, the problem was more with the “virgin” part than the ‘dumb’ part, as it was the entire reason his boyfriend became an _ex_-boyfriend. Keith could have tried to mourn, tried to cry, but it really wasn’t worth it. Smart, dumb.  It didn’t matter either way because to his ex, being unwilling to fuck him was the last straw.

“I could take the Monsters and Mana and the weird friends,” Adam had sneered as he threw Keith’s shit into a plastic bag. “I could even deal with the bad hair and your ratty-ass clothes, but I’m done with you fucking around with me. You don’t want to have sex?” Adam asked, accentuating the moment by throwing the bag into Keith’s arms. 

“I just—“ Keith began, but Adam just rolled his eyes. 

“Rhetorical question, idiot.”

“But—I’m just not ready—“

“Then go be not ready with someone else. Dating you is _exhausting_. You’re nothing but a dumb virgin.”

Keith’s eyes prickled, but he didn’t beg Adam for anything. A little part of Keith shouldn’t have been surprised by Adam’s “fuck or get out” ultimatum, considering Adam had been pressuring him since he’d moved to the city to fuck him. It just kept getting worse the longer time went on, the more Adam got antsy. Keith wasn’t stupid; he knew that Adam was fucking around while Keith was still in high school, but he hadn’t pushed it. 

Why he hadn’t, Keith really didn’t know. Maybe it was because Adam could be nice when he wanted to be, or that Adam was something familiar in a world that was constantly so very fucked up.

Or maybe it had to do with Keith’s inability to believe anyone could ever love him, though the moment that popped into his head he forced it back as far as it could go.

Keith felt a little sick now, knowing that he’d given up a full ride to Stanford to stay with his loser boyfriend only to get thrown out on his ass a week before classes started.

Still, Keith was smart. He knew how to turn his charm up to an 11 to get the woman in the housing department to let him move in a few days early, and knew how _not_ to say a goddamn thing to Lance until after move-in day. 

If Lance knew, then Mrs. McClain would know in record time, and if Lance’s mom knew...

_Then my mom would be down here with a baseball bat,_ Keith surmised. 

While the thought was tempting, especially since Keith had to drag all his belongings from the junior and senior apartment complex to the freshman dorm all by himself, getting his mother thrown in the brig wasn’t on his top ten list. 

So, when Mrs. McClain and Lance showed up, Keith mumbled that yeah, Adam had helped him move in already, Mrs. McClain. Thanks for the cookies, Mrs. McClain. You can report an all clear to my mother, Mrs. McClain.

When she asked how Adam was, Keith gritted his teeth so hard he could feel his molars crack. 

“He’s great, Mrs. McClain. Thanks.”

“Adam’s great, huh?” Lance asked as he flopped down on his bed, staring at Keith. 

Keith kicked the foot of Lance’s bed. 

“Yep. Just great.”

Lance barely managed to bite his tongue long enough for Mrs. McClain to do her final sweep of the dorm room, promising to stop by if they needed anything—anything at all.

Then, with a hug that nearly squeezed the life out of Keith and Lance, she was gone.

And now...

“Spill.”

Keith flopped down on Lance’s bed next to him, head butting the wall. 

“He broke up with me.” 

Lance grimaced. “Dude, what the fuck? _Why_ the fuck would he do that?”

Keith shrugged. 

“Oh, no no no no. No just _shrugging_, Mullet—“

“Can you _not_ call me that today?” 

Lance opened his mouth, but clearly the three years of friendship in high school was enough for Lance to tell that at that moment, Keith really didn’t want to hear it. 

_ No insults about my shitty clothes or shitty hair, and definitely not about my not shitty friends. _

“Yeah. Sure, man.” Lance elbowed Keith’s shoulder “Did he give a reason?”

Keith looked away. 

“Y’know I’m not gunna force you, but—“

“I wouldn’t fuck him.”

Lance straightened up. “The fuck—“

“Yeah,” Keith replied sourly, picking at his nails. “Said he was tired of me being a frigid asshole. Said if I was gunna live with him for the summer—“

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Lance interrupted, making a T with his hands. “Did he...”

Keith rolled off Lance’s bed, plopping himself down on his own bed. 

“No. I, uh... I just left. More like he threw me out. Had to carry everything across campus on my own.”

“Diiiiiiiick. Why didn’t you call me?” 

“And let your mom know?”

Lance winced. “Good point.”

Lance stayed quiet for a moment before saying, “Want me to egg his car?”

Keith shook his head. “Nah. Why bother?”

“You’re not like... Bothered?”

Keith hesitated. Lance was probably the straightest guy he’s ever had the (mis)fortune to ever meet, but he was still a guy. 

“Not really?” Keith admitted after a moment. Sure, it sucked that he’d given up his scholarship to Stanford, but it wasn’t just Adam that made him do that.

If Keith were really, really honest with himself, he knew that it wasn’t really going to work out. He’s cling to it because Adam was his first real relationship, and admitting he was wrong about Adam was more about admitting he was wrong, period. He’d told his mom that it was because of the great Astronomy program, that Professor T.S. Wallace was considered a legend in his field, just to keep his mother from asking too many questions. 

Even then…

“You know I don’t really do the dude on dude thing, right?” 

Keith rolled his eyes. “No shit, Sherlock.”

“Aye, I ain’t putting it down,” Lance quickly corrected. “I’m just saying I don’t get that part, but I get the sex part. If you’re not ready, dude, don’t rush it.” 

Keith let out a frustrated sigh. 

“It’s not that.”

“So you _did_ want to have sex with him?”

Keith let out an impatient sigh. “No. I didn’t want to have sex with him. But—“

“You do want to have sex.”

Keith paused. “Yes, I do.” 

“Well, I can help you.” 

Keith grabbed his pillow, throwing it at his friend’s head. “I wouldn’t fuck you if you were the last person on earth.”

Lance made a grossed out face and tossed Keith’s pillow back. “That’s nasty. Just... nasty.”

“Then don’t go making nasty-ass offers,” Keith countered, angrily shoving his pillow back behind his head.

“It wasn’t an offer! Listen, listen!” Lance raised up both hands in surrender when Keith pulled the pillow back out, ready to launch it at his head again. “I’m not talking about me. God no. I’m talking about...”

Lance reached into his pocket, pulling out his smartphone. 

“Do you have some random gay guys on speed dial, Lance?” 

Lance jumped off his bed, handing Keith his phone. Was that—

“You use tinder? How desperate _are_ you—“

Lance snatched his phone back with a huff, ears tinted pink. “Well, sor—ry, Asshat. Here I am, trying to help you get laid, but if you’re just gonna be a dick—“ 

But Keith stared back at Lance’s phone with dawning... something. 

Horniness? Excitement? Nervousness? All of the above?

“Find some hot guy, let him pop your cherry, then come back here and _don’t_ tell me about it.” Lance dangled his phone above Keith’s head. 

“I’ll even let you download the app on my phone since that flip phone of yours can’t do shit.”

Keith paused, staring at Lance’s iPhone. 

“What if I regret it?”

Lance shrugged. “Then you get to join the rest of the losers who wasted their v-cards on the wrong person.”

Keith arched one eyebrow at Lance. “Didn’t you say losing it to Jenny Shaybon was the best thing you ever did?”

“Still is,” Lance sighed dramatically, dropping his phone into Keith’s lap. “Make sure to disinfect it when you’re done.”

* * *

Keith had managed to make his profile in about three minutes, not bothering with doing anything special other than let Lance snap a couple of picture of him in his “shitty” leather jacket. 

Lance wanted him to pretend like he was James Dean, but if the average guy wanted to fuck him as much as Adam had, then it didn’t really matter what his picture looked like.

The information was simple enough:

Keith   
I’m Keith.   
Height: 5’8  
Weight: 135  
Position—

“What the fuck’s that even mean?” Lance barked and Keith could only balefully stare at his friend over his shoulder. 

“Top or bottom. You know.” Keith shrugged. “Pitcher and receiver? Fucker or getting fucked?”

Lance stared blankly before dramatically flopping into Keith’s bed. “I don’t want to know!” he howled. “I don’t wanna knooooooow.”

“Then dont ask!”

Keith finished out the profile, hesitating just a moment before clicking the button for “single”.

It was strange; he and Adam had been a weird, fucked thing for so long that it was hard for Keith to really remember what it was like to not be dating.

Still...

Keith stared down at the orange mask application and the roll of men’s photos that flashed by. It was a lot to go through, but...

“Just find a hot one and get it over with?” Keith asked as he clicked on one of the accounts, but the guy definitely wasn’t his type. He was handsome, sure, but in the same way that an instagram model was handsome— there was a certain type of douchebag quality to him. 

“No to Lotor, huh?” 

“And no to… huh.” Keith stared at Adam’s face, noting that the account was… the account was old, but still regularly active.

Lance made a noise, but Keith was quick to figure out how to block assholes. Let that be the only cherry of Keith’s that Adam popped. 

“Yeah, man. Or just wait until you find your Jenny Shaybon. Whatever works.”

Part of Keith wanted to forget about it, but...

“Maybe I should sleep on it?” Keith asked as he glanced over the pictures. He was tired from helping Lance move in, even more tired because he’d barely slept since Adam had broken up with him. It wasn’t mourning so much as, well, having gotten used to someone sleeping next to him every night during the summer. 

Lance shrugged. “You do you, man. We have a couple more nights until classes start. Do whatever you need to do.”

_ Yeah… I’ll do whatever I need to do. Or **who** I need to do. _

* * *

Keith didn’t really think about the Grindr app until the next day when Lance decided to throw his phone straight at Keith’s head in the canteen during lunch. 

“It hasn’t stopped fucking pinging since yesterday.” 

Keith stared down at the phone, confused.

“What does this have anything to do with me?” He took a bite of his somewhat soggy meatloaf and mashed potatoes. It wasn’t anything to write back to Mrs. McClain about, but it was definitely worlds better than anything his own mother could cook.

Lance leaned low, his voice a mock whisper. “It was to do with you trying to get laid using my phone!”

“Oh.” Keith looked down at the phone and the—holy fuck, how many numbers was that? 

“Yeah. They haven’t stopped all fucking _day_, man. All Day. Long. You’re a hot commodity over here, buddy.”

Keith stared down at the number— he didn’t even know there were that many gay men _in_ Arizona, let alone in his college town. 

“Is that a seven or a one?”

“Dude, it’s four digits long. It doesn’t matter what number it is, that is more men than you could fuck in a _lifetime_.” While true, and definitely not something Keith wanted to try, the number was… It was certainly impressive, if nothing else. “Just pick one so I can delete the damn thing.”

Keith rolled his eyes, but grabbed hold of the phone and began scrolling. 

Most of the people responded only with little devil emojis and dick pics, and Keith scrolled through those real quick, hitting the block button as he went. He was eating a hamburger and didn’t need to see any other kind of meat—at least not at that moment. 

He’d managed to get through about half of the people hitting up his message box before he suddenly landed on _him_.

And so did his hamburger.

Keith’s hand fucking _shook_ as he stared at the man’s picture—Keith had seen a ton of good looking men, but this was a good looking man in a _suit_. It wasn’t even just a suit, but a fucking three-piece jet black suit, white button-up shirt, and red tie that made Keith’s stomach do somersaults.

“Dude, what’s got your attention?”

Then Keith saw his eyes. Holy— 

Keith couldn’t look away from the man’s dazzling silver eyes. It was as though those liquid mercury depths were pulling him in, enticing without reprieve. 

The angle was a little awkward, but Keith could make out the hint of an earring in his left lobe and a puff of silver hair right in the front. It drifted across his eyes in a way that made Keith’s entire body freeze up.

Keith clicked his account to see that his next photo was nearly the same, but the only difference was the tie hung a little loose, his jet black hair and silver tuff a little tousled, as though he’d run his hands through it in just the right way. 

In the next picture, a few of the buttons were undone, showing just the hint of a few sparse chest hairs. 

The next was without the jacket, the following with another button undone, before finally—

“Fuuuuuuck.” 

Keith’s pants were tight. Too tight.

The last picture of the set was the man with all the buttons undone, tie hanging against his muscled and toned stomach. One of his sleeves hung loosely from his shoulder, leaving Keith needing more. 

He needed so much more. 

Keith tapped so hard on the message button Lance squawked not to break it.

Shiro. That was his name. Shiro. twenty-nine, 6'4, 210 pounds of pure muscle, likes dogs and stargazing, loves mac and cheese, and single. Very, very single. 

“I guess you found what you were looking for?”

“Oh,” Keith said faintly, typing out a quick message. “Definitely.”

* * *

Keith could do this. 

He really, really could. 

Except—

“Okay, so you’re going to meet him for coffee, right? Well, take my phone. It’s got GPS so if he dumps your body I’ll get my phone back.”

They were in their dorm room, and Keith had changed his clothes no less than four times. He remembered the suit that Shiro—Adonis in the goddamn flesh—was wearing in those pictures. Keith tried the suit, he really did, but on him it just looked weird. 

No, Keith had finally decided on his black leather jacket and a red band tee, hoping his black jeans didn’t have too many holes for Shiro’s liking. He’s opted against Lance’s suggestion of eyeliner—“I’m not a fucking chick, Lance,”—but did keep his bike gloves... even though he didn’t have a bike to go with them. Not anymore, anyway.

“You look like serial killer bait. You—and my phone—are never coming back.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“I’m serious. My mom’ll kill me, then bring you back so she can kill you, too.” Lance looked at him for a moment, fidgeting. “You sure you want to do this?”

Keith could feel the butterflies in his stomach, but tried his best to hide it from his friend. He wasn’t sure about it, but...

“It’s just coffee, Lance. If I feel like he’s a serial killer I’ll get the fuck out of dodge. I’ve got a black belt in taekwondo,” Keith reminded his friend, though he wasn’t sure if it was to comfort Lance or himself.

“It’ll be fine. _I’ll_ be fine.” 

Keith tried to make sure his voice didn’t shake, though he wasn’t entirely sure if it worked well enough. Still, in the end Lance accepted it with a shrug. “If you need to, just click the power button five times and it’s supposed to call the cops or something.”

“Or something?”

Lance shrugged. “Dude, I don’t know. I read it online. Just... don’t get hacked up into little pieces?”

Keith glared, but it was as half-hearted as Lance’s complaining. “If you’re so worried you can shadow me to the coffeeshop. You know, so you don’t lose your phone.”

Lance only frowned. “You’re my friend. Just… you know. Don’t die, yeah?” 

Keith could only sigh. “Yeah, Lance. I get it. I _do_.” 

Lance opted against following him; maybe it was because the idea of watching Keith drool in real life was worse than seeing him either get stood up or massacred. Still, Keith didn’t think he was going to be getting into anything more than getting his ass jackhammered into the next century, which was perfectly fine by him. 

“Dude, tmi. Just… tmi.” 

“You asked.”

Lance made a face. “Let’s just pretend I didn’t, yeah?” Then, with a little more confidence, said, “Isn’t that jacket a little much?” 

Sure, it was hot outside, but Keith liked the aesthetic. Rather, he _needed_ the aesthetic. 

“I need to look like I can kick his ass. You know, just in case.” 

Lance warily looked at him again. “Yeah. Just in case. Come back tomorrow for class, okay? I don’t think I can do this whole university thing without you.”

“Gotcha.” 

So, Keith headed off to the local coffee shop, catching the bus that took him from the freshman dorms all the way across the campus. He was the only person there; since classes started the next day, most of the students were busy prepping for class, but Keith only had an Astronomy class at 11, then a free day until his labs started the next week.

Even if Keith got lucky, and that was a big if, then he’d be able to get fucked and then hike his way back to the dorms if the sex god in a suit didn’t drive him home.

_It’ll sure as hell be a more fun walk of shame than the one where I’m carrying a twenty year old TV across campus,_ Keith thought as he exited the bus. He could see the little coffee shop across the street, the one Keith knew because Adam took him there during the summer to meet with his professor for TA duty, but it seemed rather empty. 

There were only two cars in front of the place—a beat-up ford truck that was barbie pink and a slick silver audi that just didn’t look right in front of the cafe. Fuck, the barbie pink truck made more sense. 

Shiro’s suit flashed through Keith’s mind, and Keith knew. 

_ He’s here. He’s here and he drives an Audi, and I’m so fucked. So, so fucked. _

Keith paused at the door, staring at the flyers taped every which way, before taking as big of a breath as he could muster before opening the door, stepping into the darkness of the cafe. 

There was some kind of hipster music playing like a low thrum and the entire place smelled like rich and exotic coffee that made Keith’s mouth water just a bit. The blonde cashier looked up from her place at the counter where she’d buried her nose into a book with a very, _very_, provocative cover of two men caught in a passionate embrace. 

She didn’t even put the book down, instead pressing it against her chest, making the muscled men seem to move on her cover. 

“Hi, I’m—“

The woman jerked her head to the table with a little smirk. “He’s over there. Want something to drink?” 

Keith turned to see the booth nestled in the far back, slightly obscured by a mid-wall through the place.

“Uh. Yeah. Whatever he’s having.” 

The woman’s eyebrows shot into her hair. “Oh, yeah. No. Trust me, you don’t want what he’s having. Unless you want to rot out your teeth.”

_So he must come here often. Not an undergrad. Not with that car. And definitely not a professor. Maybe he works nearby?_ Keith thought as he watched the blonde pop her gum as she slowly blinked at him.

“Uh. Iced coffee?” 

The woman nodded her head and placed her paperback onto the counter. “Will do. Hey! Shiro—you’ve got a visitor!” 

_Well, at least if I go missing there’s a witness,_ Keith thought as he watched Shiro turn in his booth and stand and—

_ Holy shit. He wasn’t lying. _

Even from across the coffee shop, Keith could tell that Shiro wasn’t lying a bit about every inch of that 6’4. He was wearing a blue button up and tie, and Keith could see the black suit jacket thrown over a nearby chair. 

And God, he was better looking in person, which almost seemed like was impossible. No one was ever better looking in real life, except Shiro. 

Keith hoped his mouth wasn’t open, letting the flies in, but…

Damn.

Just…

Damn.

Keith felt someone—the cashier—nudge him.

“He does that to people,” was her only reply as she handed him his cup of iced coffee. Then, louder, “I’ll add it to your tab, Shiro!” 

Shiro made some movement, one Keith wasn’t sure was a wave for him to come closer or a wave for the cashier to go away. Either way, Keith walked forward, trying his best not to stumble over his own feet.

When Keith finally got close enough, Shiro smiled as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Keith, right?” 

“And you’re Shiro?” His name fell from Keith’s lips, and the man responded with a nod. “It’s… it’s nice to meet you.”

Keith wasn’t sure what Grindr etiquette was—do you kiss someone you just met? Hug them? Maybe shake hands? 

_No. That’s just weird._

Instead, the two of them stood there awkwardly for a moment before Shiro gestured for him to take a seat on the opposite side of the booth. 

For what should have been an awkward meeting—it was on a fuck friend app, after all—Keith felt oddly at ease with the older man almost instantaneously. Maybe it was his carefree smile, his boyish charm only eclipsed by how beautiful he was. Or maybe Keith was just very stupid serial killer bait. 

Either way...

“I’m glad Romelle didn’t scare you off. She does that to people.”

“Hm, she said you did the same thing,” Keith replied, enjoying the way Shiro’s cheeks dusted with pink. “But it’s real hard to intimidate me.”

_That’s a load of crock,_ Keith thought as he watched the man’s face for any sign of a mask, any hint that he needed to book it back to his dorm, but…

Nothing. Not even a single, solitary bad feeling.

Just…

Hot.

“You a student?” the man asked as he took a seat, their knees brushing up against one another. That innocent touch sent a lightning bolt from his knee straight up to Keith’s cock. 

He almost flinched, but managed to hold himself together with a prayer and fingernails to his thigh. 

“Yeah. You?”

Shiro shook his head, strands of black and silver falling into his liquid mercury eyes. God, that was hot. That was so, so hot. 

Keith couldn’t stop himself as he reached forward, brushing the hair from Shiro’s eyes, feeling it between his fingers. It was coarse in a way Keith’s own hair wasn’t, but there was a softness to it that made Keith have to physically restrain himself from continuing to touch. They were in public, for fuck’s sake. 

“I—sorry,” Keith muttered as he pulled his hand back, immediately missing that comforting feeling of smooth, strong hair between his fingers. “Is it—“

“Real?” Shiro said, reaching up to adjust his hair. his fingers curled around an errant silver strand, tugging it with just a little more force that Keith thought was necessary. Still… “Unfortunately so.” 

“Unfortunately?” Keith asked, instead busying his hands with his black iced coffee. 

“Yes, unfortunately. There was, uh… an incident. Rather stressful,” Shiro admitted as he ran his hands through the rest of his dark hair. “But thankfully all I have to remember it by is the hair. Makes me look—“ 

“Sexy?” Keith supplied, and Shiro actually laughed.

God, his laugh was so deep it felt as though it were going to melt inside of him.

“I was going to say old, but…” Shiro shrugged and reached down to pluck his drink from the table. It was a brown sludge with chocolate and caramel sauce and the cashier was right; his teeth definitely would’ve rotted out of his head.

When he’d been with Adam, every single thing they’d ever done together was initiated by his ex boyfriend. From their first hug to their first kiss, even the first bit of flirting. Keith knew he was more than inexperienced; Keith was even willing to admit that yeah, he was definitely a virgin, but sitting across from Shiro in the little coffee shop across from campus just felt… right.

Before Keith could even think the words out, they tumbled out of his mouth. “No, I’m pretty sure I was just thinking sexy.”

Keith wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing, but from the way Shiro’s knee bumped into his a little harder under the table, it was definitely a step in the right direction.

“Sexy, huh?” 

Shiro’s smile was like staring into the sun, and Keith didn’t care if he went blind. 

He didn’t look away.

* * *

There should have been a hundred other things that Keith could have thought about during that coffee date, but the only thing running through his mind was how soon it would be until he could wrap his mouth around Shiro’s cock. 

He really, really wanted to suck Shiro’s cock.

It wasn’t sweet or virginal by any means, but Keith had never been one for following rules. 

He didn’t plan to tell the other man about his v-card status; he was so smooth, like the silk tie that Keith had to keep himself from reaching out to wrap his fingers around to pull the man in for a kiss. 

He knew that was wrong, that Shiro deserved to know, but… How was he supposed to explain that he was using Grindr to fuck some random guy because his boyfriend broke up with him specifically for not wanting to have sex with him?

He was pretty sure that Romelle—the cashier that Shiro said was one of his favorite people because she always knew what kind of monstrosity he liked—would have gotten a kick out of them fucking in the cafe, but it would probably break a dozen laws and undoubtedly would have been some kind of health code violation.

Still, the urge to pull Shiro down for a kiss was nearly impossible, and they’d been barely talking for thirty minutes. 

“So.... uh, should we get out of here or...”

Keith really didn’t know exactly what he was supposed to do, only that he definitely couldn’t do it here or at his dorm room. There was a lot of shit Lance was willing to roll with, but he was pretty sure this wouldn’t be on that list. “I—uh.”

Keith scratched the back of his head, praying for a car to crash into the cafe or for lightning to strike him just so he didn’t have to take the next step.

“I’d like to…” Keith laughed because he didn’t know what else he could do. “Um.”

“You’re not used to doing this, are you?” Shiro asked, and Keith could feel his face redden despite his desperate attempts to school it into a mask of indifference. 

“And you are?” Keith quipped back.

Shiro smiled in a way that made Keith feel a little bad. 

“I’m… I’m a bit off my game—“

“No, you’re not.”

“No,” Shiro interrupted, “I’m really off my game. I’m way out of my depth here, because I’ve just gotten out of the worst mistake of my life and I have a beautiful man staring at me and I haven’t even tried to kiss him yet.” 

Keith’s mouth went dry as he found himself staring at Shiro’s lips—those beautiful lips curved down into a deep frown. 

“I’ve never done—done this before,” Shiro admitted, and for some reason Keith believed him. “I married my high school sweetheart.” 

Keith couldn’t stop himself from looking down at Shiro’s hand, ring finger bare. Shiro lifted his hand up, looking at it as though it were alien to him, showing off his bare knuckles. “Yeah. The divorce finalized last month. Found out he was screwing his student. Great guy, right?”

Keith didn’t even have the chance to answer before Shiro continued, “My best friend, Matt—he set up the Grindr account. Said I needed to get laid, get it out of my system… this is a lot of baggage for a coffee date, but when I get nervous I ramble, and right now—“

“Three days ago _my_ high school sweetheart threw me out of his apartment because I wouldn’t fuck him. Said he was done with dealing with a dumb virgin.” Keith grabbed hold of his iced coffee, sucking on the straw for dear life, even though all that was left was clinking ice and desperation.

Shiro put down his hand on the table.

“You’re—“

“A virgin?” 

“Yeah,” Shiro said faintly. 

Keith wished he could have taken the words back, but they were already out there, floating around their heads like gnats.

Fuck, Keith shouldn’t have said that. He really shouldn’t have said that. 

“And?” Keith finally asked, trying his best to not look as terrified as he felt. “Everyone’s a virgin at some point or another.” 

“But… you want to just—“

“It’s not like it’s important.” 

“_Keith_.” There was something so _gentle_ in the way Shiro said Keith’s name and it made him feel as though Shiro was touching his hand.

No—Keith looked down and yeah, Shiro _was_ touching his hand. 

“Just because your boyfriend—“

“Ex-boyfriend.” 

“Ex-boyfriend,” Shiro corrected, “told you that, it doesn’t mean you have to have sex. You should only do it when you’re ready for something like that, not because of a dumbass.” 

Keith looked up into Shiro’s eyes, and it felt like Shiro could see into his very soul. It should have been terrifying, but instead it sent a thrill right through his entire being.

This wasn’t supposed to get emotional. This was just supposed to be fucking and getting it out of his system.

“You shouldn’t have sex because you feel like you’re _obligated_ to—“ 

Keith lifted his fingers to trap Shiro’s hand between his, then lifted Shiro’s naked ring finger to his lips. He didn’t kiss it, just letting his breath ghost over his knuckle. From the way Shiro shuddered and reached up to fidget with his tie, it meant so, so much more.

“Does this look like I’m obligated? Do I look like a sad guy moping around about the dick who didn’t give a shit about him? Just because I didn’t want to fuck him doesn’t mean I don’t want to fuck you.”

This all was a lot, but… he needed to be truthful.

He needed to be truthful because it felt as though it was the only thing Keith really could do to make himself not feel like a dumbass. 

“I—I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship,” Shiro admitted, as though his words were some grave sin. “I was just—“ 

“Hoping to get laid. Same here.” 

“But—“ 

Keith shook his head and leaned over to finally grab hold of Shiro’s tie, pulling him close to the table. Watching the man’s neck curve down made Keith _shudder_.

“We’re both here for the same thing, right?” 

Shiro hummed in response, before leaning up to give Keith a whisper of a kiss that made his toes curl.

“I’ll be gentle, then,” Shiro murmured, but Keith only tightened his grip around Shiro’s tie.

“Who said shit about being gentle?” 

* * *

Keith didn’t have a frame of reference for sex itself, but he did have a reference for other things—handjobs, grinding, the few drunken blowjobs that Adam had been really into, but only left Keith with a sore throat and a bad taste in his mouth. Sure, he’d seen his share of porn, so it wasn’t as though he didn’t understand how to put tab a into slot b, but that was nothing compared to what Shiro’s hands felt like on him. 

It was just going to be a one night stand, and maybe it was for that reason and that reason alone that Keith felt so comfortable and free. Before, when he’d thought about fucking Adam, there’d only been obligation and mild annoyance. 

The night Adam had kicked Keith out was still fresh in his mind—he could remember how Adam had kissed him, tugged at his pants, how his fingers were too cold and sticky and it just didn’t feel _right_. Keith had pushed him off and said he wasn’t ready, and he hadn’t been ready then. 

But now?

“Don’t stop,” Keith begged as Shiro pushed him up against his cool blue wall, Keith’s fingers scrambling for purchase on the nearby doorframe, the other threaded through Shiro’s silky black and white hair. Shiro’s mouth was everywhere all at once, and Keith couldn’t stop himself from moaning when Shiro nipped playfully at his ear.

“Wasn’t gunna—“

“Then _don’t_.” 

Even in the half-darkness of Shiro’s bedroom, Keith could make out the quirk of Shiro’s eyebrows and the pull at his lips.

His fingernails caught in the wood and just for a moment Keith worried that he’d end up ripping them off, but Shiro lifted him straight off his feet. He cradled Keith’s head with one hand, using the other to pull Keith up, resting his mouth against Keith’s throat. 

Keith wasn’t sure what it was—maybe it was the possessive way Shiro nipped at his neck or how his tongue lapped against his pulse point, or it could have very well been the enthusiastic and almost animalistic sound of Shiro’s moan—but whatever _it_ was, it felt good.

It felt really fucking good.

Keith didn’t want to sound like some needy slut, but if Shiro kept it up there wasn’t going to be anything left but a whimpering, moaning pile of goo. 

“You okay—“

“Don’t——fucking—stop—“ Keith interrupted each word with a searing kiss, making sure to tighten his hands in Shiro’s hair and yank just enough to get Shiro to make that _sound_ again. 

This was reckless and stupid and _fuck_ Keith should’ve stopped them, but he could feel Shiro’s scalp and hair between his fingers and every time the leather of his gloves caressed Shiro’s temples he made that _sound_ and fuck—Keith wasn’t sure how much longer he was going to be able to last long.

Shiro hoisted him up and swung him around, and Keith couldn’t stop himself from letting out an exhilarated laugh as he leaned back and stared at the spinning ceiling before he landed on the bed, Shiro’s hand still cradling his neck so very gently.

Then his mouth was on him, his hands impishly tugging at Keith’s jacket, and Keith was absolutely _lost_.

If this was what sex was like, Keith wanted to have it every day for the rest of his life.

“Since this is your first time,” Shiro whispered against his ear, one hand snaking its way under Keith’s shirt, “you’re in the driver’s seat.” 

“And what if I want to ride shotgun?”

“Ah—a pillow princess,” Shiro laughed. “Never would have guessed.”

Shiro leaned down for a kiss, but Keith was quicker. He grabbed Shiro by the throat, not enough to hurt but enough for Shiro to let out a surprised grunt, before Keith rolled Shiro onto his back. He climbed on top, grinding their hips together in a song that made Shiro _sing_.

“Does a pillow princess do that?” Keith said, lips trailing up from Shiro’s neck to the lobe of his ear. He pulled it between his teeth, sucking gently enough to feel Shiro’s heart stutter against his chest. “Be careful with what you say, old man. I’m no fucking pillow princess.”

Shiro laughed, and god if it didn’t sound like sunshine on a rainy day. It sent a shiver straight down Keith’s spine and deep into his guts. His cock was already hard, but if it could’ve gotten any harder, that sound sure would have done it.

Instead, Keith fumbled with the other man’s belt, though he was a little more gentle when he pulled down the zipper and shimmied Shiro’s pants off.

“Guess I wasn’t wrong abo—“ 

Whatever Shiro was about to say died in his throat when Keith wrapped his mouth around his cock, letting his tongue lap at the tip. It was salty but there was something else there, a faint musk that made Keith’s mouth water as he wrapped his hand around the base. 

Fuck—Shiro was _big_. He was so big Keith’s fingers couldn’t even fully wrap around him, and Keith could already feel the panic overtaking him because what the _fuck_ had he walked himself into? 

“He—hey. Don’t rush. It’s not going anywhere.” Shiro reached down to Keith’s chin, lifting him up off his dick. “Don’t try to deep throat me, baby.” 

Baby.

Keith shuddered and his hand tightened around Shiro enough that the sound he made was a little more pain than pleasure. Keith loosened his grip just enough for Shiro smile.

“You like that, baby? You like to be taken care of?”

Keith hesitated for just a moment before Shiro’s knuckle brushed up against his chin. 

“I like that. If you like it, too. I wanna take care of you. I wanna teach you… if you’ll let me.” 

Keith looked back down at Shiro’s hard cock, then into Shiro’s eyes. They were like molten silver, and Keith knew that he could trust Shiro. Maybe it was vulnerability that bled across Keith’s face, but whatever it was made Shiro smile. It was little, barely even there, but it was enough for Keith to know.

He was safe.

“Just the tip,” Shiro said as he moved his hand to press it against Keith’s neck. It wasn’t the same as it had been with Adam; Adam just wanted Keith to get over it and suck, but Shiro? 

Shiro’s fingers massaged the knot at the back of his neck with such tenderness, and Keith knew that if he tried too hard, if he fell, Shiro would be right there to pick him right back up. 

Keith allowed Shiro’s hand to lead him down to Shiro’s dick until finally opened his mouth wide enough to take the tip and _only_ the tip. 

“There you go. You’re good at this, Keith,” Shiro murmured as Keith sucked on the tip, enjoying the way Shiro’s hand shook against his neck. He didn’t go any further down, instead enjoying the way the vein in Shiro’s cock felt as it pulsed against his bottom lip.

He wanted to take in more, to swallow Shiro whole, but he knew that Shiro’s hand on his neck would gip him tight and pull him back up for air. It could also push him down, gagging him and choking him until Keith blacked out. It was wrong to even think it, but…

It was a very, very, hot thought that he may as well have said out loud, because just as it came into his mind Shiro pulled him back, tsking at him.

“I thought you wanted a teacher.”

“Don’t think you can keep up with me, then,” Keith began, but just as quickly his open mouth was full of Shiro. When he moaned against Shiro’s cock, Shiro moaned, too.

“I like those gloves,” Shiro managed to say through a thin gasp that made Keith smirk. “They feel—good. Flip your tongue like—ah. Yeah. Like that. Just like that.”

It wasn’t just his words, but the way his hand tightened and his toes curled that made him pull back with a pop.

He licked right up at the vein on the underside, licking all the down until his tongue reached Shiro’s balls.

Nerves got to Keith then, and Shiro’s hand lightened. 

“You can, if you want. But you don’t have to—“

_Too late,_ Keith thought as he leaned down and rested his tongue against Shiro’s balls, lapping at them like a cat at its milk bowl. He was gentle; he knew how he liked to have his balls touched (not like it was anyone other than his own damn hand, considering Adam was a taker and not a giver, only once bothering to give Keith a half-hearted blowjob) and knew how to nuzzle against it.

His hopes turned out to be right from the filthy obscenities Shiro gasped and how’s entire body shuddered when Keith pulled away. He licked all the way back up to the base, unable to hide his smirk.

Bingo.

“Am I doing a good job, Professor Shiro?” He joked. If Shiro wanted to teach Keith, he was going to _teach_.

Shiro made a noise that made Keith’s balls tighten before pulling him up by the base of his neck to fuck Keith’s mouth with his tongue. 

“Very good job,” Shiro managed after rolling himself over Keith, hand going straight for Keith’s zipper. Both of them were still wearing their damn jackets, so when Keith reached up he managed to tug just a little too hard, making the first two of Shiro’s shirt buttons pop off.

They flew across the room, likely to never be seen again. 

“Oops,” Keith deadpanned, and Shiro laughed so hard he had to rest his head against Keith’s for a moment, warm breath caressing Keith’s face like a kiss.

“We’re wearing too much clothes. Let’s get out of these, yeah?” 

Keith went to lean up, but Shiro pushed him back into the bed. He leaned over, flicking on the lamp. The bedroom was bathed in a dim light, letting Keith inspect more of it.

On the way in, Keith had been far too enamored with staring at Shiro but he had managed to catch a glimpse of the elegant black and white upholstery before letting Shiro tug him up the stairs.

The walls definitely were that pretty blue that matched perfectly with the bedspread.

Keith couldn’t help but wonder if these were the same sheets that Shiro’s ex had slept on, but it seemed like Shiro could read his mind. 

“New house. New sheets.”

“Good to know. I guess…I guess I’m helping you break in the bed.”

Shiro laughed. “Yeah. It looks like it. Now, let’s get out of these, eh? Lemme be a little useful before I hand over the reins to my very eager student. I want you to learn everything You can.”

Watching Shiro take off his clothes was like watching someone unveil a painting.

That or watching a present come loose from its wrappings. Shiro was as beautiful out of his suit as he was in it; there was a smattering of dark hair across his chest, thighs that were bigger that Keith’s entire head, and his stomach looked as though he’d been chiseled by hand from the gods themselves. There was also a long gash from a few inches above his belly button all the way up to between his nipples. There were a few other scars, but that one made Shiro pause.

“I… um. I lied, about that incident that caused this.”

Shiro reached up to touch the fluff of silver hair. 

“Matt—um. My friend, who set up the Grindr? He told me to keep on the tie, for the, um… the pictures. I didn’t think about it until now.” Shiro gestured to the scar morosely. “If—if you want, I can put—put the shirt back—“

“No. I… It’s part of you. Never apologize for that.” It felt weird for Keith to say it out loud, but for some reason it just felt…. right. “I’ve got my own scars, too.”

There was something so intimate in that moment, in the way Shiro’s hand reached up to brush against the scar and Keith wondered if he’d ever hear what happened to cause that scar until he reminded himself that this was just a one-night thing. At the end of the night Shiro’d probably kick him out and Keith would end up walking home or to the closest bus stop and he’d never know how Shiro got his scar or about his hair or about anything involving Shiro’s personal life. 

“If you’re sure,” Shiro said slowly.

“I’m sure. I promise.” Then, with a wiggle, Keith innocently asked, “Now, are you going to take my pants or not, teacher?” 

* * *

Keith didn’t know why he’d waited this long to lose his virginity, because it was fucking _fantastic._

The way Shiro’s body felt on top of his, how his weight pushed Keith straight down into his bed as he finger-fucked Keith’s hole with two fingers, then three, made Keith want to scream.

Keith could barely breathe, barely think, barely do anything other than moan. 

“God, Shiro,” Keith moaned as Shiro curled his fingers deep inside, pressing against a little bundle of nerves nestled just a little ways inside. “God, Shiro.”

“Never been confused as a deity,” Shiro laughed into Keith’s collar, the hot breath making a shudder run up Keith’s spine. 

Keith couldn’t stop himself from laughing either, because Shiro’s mouth felt like heaven on his skin, his fingers made his eyes want to roll into the back of his head, and this was everything and nothing like Keith had expected it to feel like. 

If he were honest with himself, Keith half-expected it to entirely suck, but a little part of him had known the minute that he met Shiro that things were finally looking up. And this?

Shiro did something that made the world flash white, making Keith’s eyes roll into the back of his head.

His thighs shuddered and his legs tried to wrap about Shiro’s body, pulling his fingers in deeper. 

“If you do that I won’t be able to…” 

Keith wrapped his hands around Shiro’s neck, pulling him in for a kiss that made the entire world stop.There was heat, there was passion, and more than anything… 

It was perfect. 

“Baby, if you keep that up, you’re going to come on my fingers alone.” 

“Want to,” Keith murmured, toes curling. “Want you in me.”

Shiro shuddered against him. “You gotta pick one or the other, baby.” 

Keith let out a huff. “Can’t I get both?” 

Shiro pulled out his fingers before slowly slipping in a third. It was filling, almost too much for Keith to take, and there was a tightness that made Keith hiss.

“That hurt?” 

“Just a bit.” 

Shiro pressed a messy kiss against the corner of Keith’s mouth as he withdrew the extra digit, instead letting his thumb gently run against the ring of too-tight muscle. 

“I don’t want this to hurt at all.”

They may not have known each other for more than a few hours, but for some reason Keith couldn’t help but _believe_ Shiro’s words. There was such an honesty, such earnest desire for Keith to feel nothing but pleasure, that Keith knew that Shiro was telling the truth.

“Then you can make me come twice, can’t you?” 

Shiro nodded before leaning down, pressing their noses together. If it had been any other person, any other situation, then Keith would have… 

He would have thought it was cheesy, gross, pointless.

But with Shiro, it was just… nice. Really, really nice. 

_Keep your expectations low. He’s not going to marry me after fucking me,_ Keith had to remind himself as Shiro reached down with his other hand, gently taking Keith’s hard cock into his palm. With the other he continued to massage and spread Keith open, taking his sweet time. 

“I’ll make you come as many times as you want.” 

“Hold you to it.” 

Shiro’s smile was everything and more.

Maybe that was what made the nerves in Keith’s stomach build, or maybe it was the reminder that this was only for tonight, only once, that made his body twist and tighten.

Shiro pulled out his fingers and Keith felt…

Cold.

“You okay?”

Keith swallowed. He wanted to say yes, wanted to tell Shiro to keep going, but…

“It’s a lot, isn’t it?” 

Keith, unable to speak, could only nod. This was stupid, this was so fucking stupid—

But then Shiro leaned down and kissed him again. It was a passionate kiss, yes, but more than anything… there was something comforting in the way Shiro kissed. There was a patience there, a reverence that Keith couldn’t understand how a man he had only met today could give.

With how long Keith had dated Adam, never once…

“If you wanna stop—” 

“Don’t even joke,” Keith replied, mouth still pressed against Shiro’s. “I want this. I do.”

“Like I said, you’re in the driver’s seat. If you need to take a break, catch your breath—” 

Shiro didn’t even get the chance to finish what he was saying before Keith wrapped his arms around the man’s back, flipping their positions.

Keith blindly reached out to where he’d seen Shiro throw a pack of condoms and the lube. He grabbed one of the condoms and, with shaking fingers, managed to get the wrapper open.

“Don’t hurt yourself, Keith,” Shiro warned, but Keith only managed to let out a little huff.

“I don’t think you’re stretched enough.” 

“You’re not going to break me. I promise.” 

Still, now that he was holding a condom to Shiro’s cock, Keith paused. He licked his lips once, twice, before letting out a laugh and tossing the open and still unrolled condom onto the pillow near Shiro’s head. 

“Never put on a condom before?” 

Keith shook his head.

If it had been Adam— 

_ But it’s not. This is Shiro. This is my random one night stand Grindr hookup, and he’s been kinder to me than Adam ever was. _

Of course Shiro wouldn’t make fun of him and his enthusiasm.

And he didn’t.

“Do you want me to…?” Shiro trailed off, but Keith understood exactly what he wanted to say.

Keith groaned and flipped himself onto the bed next to Shiro. 

“Yeah.” 

“Well, like I said. You’re not stretched enough. I’ve got… I’ve got another idea. If you want...”

“I’m all ears.” 

“Well, it’s not your ears I’ll need.” 

What happened next was something that Keith knew he’d never forget for the rest of his life, because while Shiro’s hands may have been heaven, his tongue…

His tongue may as well have been from hell, because there was absolutely _nothing_ angelic about Shiro’s mouth. 

Keith had never felt the gentle sucking, the hot breath and the soft fingertips that made his brain melt inside of his skull. Shiro’s mouth was like fire against him, but the burn was good, deliciously stretching and mind-numbingly perfect. 

When his balls tightened and the orgasm just under the surface, Keith threw his head back into Shiro’s pillow and let the waves rush over him. It was hard to do anything but focus on Shiro’s tongue and fingers and— and— and— 

Keith could only manage a choked, “Shi—” before breaking into a sob.

God, it felt so, _so_ good, and Keith knew that this was just the beginning of their night.

“You liked that, baby? You want more?” Shiro whispered against his hole, making Keith’s dick uselessly flop against his stomach, dragging through ropes of thick white cum.

Keith nodded, mind completely blissed out, as Shiro pulled his head away from between his legs, withdrawing his fingers. 

It felt empty and hollow, and Keith moaned from the absence of Shiro’s warmth.

“Shh, I’m here. I’m here,” Shiro promised. There was a crinkling from near his head and Keith watched as Shiro grabbed a fresh condom and put it on. “I’m gunna treat you right. Okay?” 

“O— okay.” 

“How do you want to do this?” Shiro asked, staring down at Keith.

Keith stared blankly before Shiro asked, “Do you want to be on top of me? Or do you want—” 

“I want you on top. I… I want you to… I want you to look at me.” Keith felt ridiculous, like a fucking _virgin_ in a day way, and he couldn’t stop himself from looking away.

Shiro nodded before reaching over to press his thumb against the corner of Keith’s mouth, forcing Keith to look at him. There wasn’t a comment on how Keith had gone wanton and needy, nor anything about how he truly had become a pillow princess.

Keith’s legs shook as Shiro spread his knees apart. 

“I’ve got you, baby. It’s gunna be okay. If you hurt— just…” 

“I know.” 

For all the pomp and circumstance, with all the fake bravado, Shiro could see right through the illusion.

Shiro had been right; he definitely hadn’t been prepped enough to take Shiro’s cock. Even now, after all Shiro did, there was a tightness that made Keith wince with every inch. Even Shiro’s soft whispering of his name, the chanting reminder for Keith to breathe, was only able to calm Keith so much.

Still, Keith focused instead on the sweet push, the thrumming of his heart, the sounds Shiro couldn’t stop himself from making, even though he was trying. Shiro was taking it so slow just for him…

By the time Shiro was fully seated inside, Keith couldn’t do anything except focus on the sensation, grab hold of it and refuse to let go. He wanted this, wanted every aching muscle and every quivering breath.

“Just tell me when you’re—” 

“I’m ready,” Keith promised, though the words almost felt like cotton in his mouth. He was ready, as ready as one person could ever be for something like this.

As Shiro began to slowly move, gentle thrusts that made the headboard slap gently into the wall, Keith let all of the fear go. Instead, Keith let himself fall into the sweet rhythm and desire.

There was something so incredibly sexy about the way that Shiro moved inside him, something that made the thrumming pain filter into nothingness. Shiro was so sweet, so gentle, but the more he fucked into Keith, the harder it was to accept that brutal _slowness._

“Don’t go too fast,” Shiro said between grunts, his hips deliciously swirling so his cock could brush up inside of Keith at just the right angle. 

“Not fast— ah— enough,” Keith replied, wrapping his legs around Shiro’s back, hooking his ankles together. With the extra leverage, Keith was able to push Shiro in deeper, making him _scream_.

“You— ah, baby. You do that, you’re— you’re gunna make me—” 

Keith may not have known exactly what he was doing, but if Shiro rolling his made Keith feel good, then maybe—

Shiro let out a growl that sent shockwaves straight to Keith’s cock, making his half-hard dick go straight to attention. Experimentally, Keith rolled his hips again, clenching down on Shiro mid-thrust.

“Oh, God.” 

“Now— ah— who’s confusing deities,” Keith shot back as he clenched down again, rolling his hips. Shiro was deep inside, so deep it felt as though Keith would never feel empty again. When Shiro tried to pull out, Keith only locked his ankles tighter.

“Baby,” Shiro begged, but Keith couldn’t. All he wanted was to feel every bit of Shiro inside him. 

Their rhythm stuttered to a pause, just for a moment, before Keith loosened his grip, letting Shiro move again, but this time it wasn’t the sweet, slow pace from before.

No, this time it was harsh, skin slapping against skin, Keith’s fingers gripping hold of Shiro’s back, ripping into his shoulder blades. Keith wanted to apologize, wanted to say something, but the only thing he could utter were low, harsh moans and Shiro’s name.

When Shiro angled his hips in just the right way so that he could hit that bundle of nerves inside Keith, their stomachs touching enough to spread cum across both their bellies, he knew it wouldn’t be long until he came.

And then Shiro wrapped one hand around his dick, and Keith could only see stars. 

Shiro followed him over the edge into the abyss, and Keith clung to him as he rode through the most intense, earth shattering orgasm of his life. The only thing he wished…

The only thing Keith wished was that it would never end.

* * *

This really was nothing like Keith thought. When he decided to message Shiro, he had expected that they’d meet, they’d have half-hearted sex where Keith would be lucky if he got off once, and then Shiro would kick him to the curb and tell him to find his own way back to his dorm.

What he’d gotten instead was two goes at it, four orgasms, a delicious rimjob that still made his toes curl, and pizza in bed. 

“I just might marry you just so I can do this every night,” Keith joked as he took a bite of the double pepperoni New York style pizza.

As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them. 

“Oh. Shit. I’m— I’m sorry. I didn’t… I didn’t think about that.” 

Shiro only laughed off his apology. 

“Being married doesn’t mean multiple orgasms and pizza in bed,” Shiro said with a smile, though it didn’t quite meet Shiro’s eyes. 

“Still, I’m—”

“Don’t be sorry. I’m not.” Shiro reached out, brushing his knuckles against Keith’s cheek. “Being married kinda sucks. I’d much rather be doing this.” He pulled his hand back, placing it against his chest. 

Keith didn’t want to pry, knew it wasn’t his place, but…

“You can ask… if you want.” 

But the silence grew, and finally Shiro answered the question Keith wanted to ask but didn’t have the courage to.

“I don’t know what happened. I guess…. I don’t know. We jumped into marriage right out of high school, right after my brother died. I was… I was in mourning.” Shiro lifted up the pizza to his lips, barely nibbling on the crust. “It was… it was a lot.” 

“Your brother died?” 

Shiro frowned, tapping the pizza crust on his lip before tossing it into the box with a sigh.

“Yeah. My… my twin. Identical,” Shiro said, voice quivering. “He was older than me, but just barely. My mom died in labor with us, and my dad… he skipped town. Raising two kids without a wife was just too much. Especially… especially because I was so sick. I was born with a bad heart, but Kuro was good. He was always the healthy one.” 

Shiro reached down, rubbing the sternotomy scar on his chest. “Our grandpa raised us on his own, and things were good. For a while. But I got sicker, and in our senior year of high school… Kuro… he was driving me to the hospital to see my grandpa after a fall, and we got hit by a drunk driver. He was brain dead, but he had a good heart, and I needed one, so…” Shiro trailed off. 

“I’m so sorry,” Keith said. “I… I don’t know what to say.” Keith had lost his father when he was just a kid, but a brother? A twin?

The words lingered on the air, a soft silence only being broken by Shiro’s sigh. 

“My ex-husband… he was Kuro’s friend. After Kuro died, I think…. I think he wanted me to be Kuro, and I just wanted someone who understood the pain I was in.”

Listening to Shiro talk about his life, about his brother… it should have freaked Keith out. He was, after all, just a random Grindr date, but… hearing him talk, pouring out his soul…

Keith didn’t want to say he liked it, because the wounds this had ripped open for Shiro were plain as day across his face, but…

“I guess… I guess I was kind of, I don’t know? Relieved? When I walked in on him with his student. It felt like the farce was over and I was somehow free. Does that make me a horrible person? A bad husband?”

Keith shook his head, resisting the urge to reach out to touch the other man, but just barely. “No. You’re just a person. A person who’s been through a ton of shit that no one should ever have to go through. You shouldn’t feel like you’re stuck with a person you don’t love. No one should feel like that.” 

Shiro stared at him for a long moment before picking up a new slice of pizza. “You know what?” 

“What?” 

“I think you’re right. I think marriage _should_ be about pizza in bed.”

* * *

Shiro didn’t make him do the walk of shame after kicking him out of bed in the middle of the night, either. In fact, Shiro had been really sweet, letting Keith spend the night cuddled up next to him, their feet tangled up together as the hours passed.

In the morning, Shiro even tried to make them some food, but considering the burning smell that permeated through the house and Shiro’s sheepish grin as he handed Keith a granola bar, Keith could only imagine how that went.

“Well, you tried,” Keith said, and Shiro could only laugh and scratch the back of his head. 

“I did. Sorry I couldn’t do much more.” 

“It’s more than you needed to do.” Keith took a big bite of the granola bar in question.

It was a bit drier than Keith preferred, always having enjoyed the chewy bars with the chocolate that his mom used to buy all the time, but it was something from Shiro and he liked it either way. 

“Do you want me to drop you off at your dorm? So you can get to classes?”

“I don’t want to make you drive out there,” Keith began, but Shiro shook his head. 

“I’m heading out that way anyway for work. It’s no problem.” 

Keith didn’t ask for Shiro’s number, and Shiro didn’t give it to him. Maybe it was because the things they shared in that room were almost too much for either of them to really accept. 

Maybe it was the fact that they’d bared their souls to each other that night and in the light of day it was hard to go back. Or maybe, just maybe, despite everything…

Maybe this was just a Grindr hookup.

Shiro was just a really good kisser and it was so good that Keith was just a little in love with Shiro, and knowing that their night was over… 

It hurt. Just a bit. 

But this was what Keith had signed up for, and he’d known it was coming at the end of the night.

He’d thought that he was prepared, thought he was ready for a quick fuck and run. He was able to do it— he could. 

Keith could have believed that, but then before they left the house Shiro kissed him again, kissed him like he was the only thing on the planet that mattered.

And for that one second, Keith believed that there was something between them before Shiro pulled away with a soft, sad smile. 

“This… this was good, Keith. Thank you.”

And then Shiro dropped him off in the parking lot next to his dorm, and that was the end of a perfect night. 

Keith didn’t say goodbye, didn’t even do so much more than a single wave to the rearview window of Shiro’s car as he drove off, wishing that he’d had the courage to ask for Shiro’s number. 

It was too late to turn back time, to try again, and with a sad smile, Keith watched his knight in a silver audi drive off into the sunrise. 

* * *

“Dude, dude. You’re alive! You got laid! Good for you!” Lance laughed as he grabbed Keith for a quick hug, though Keith realized he was more preoccupied with groping Keith’s jacket pocket for his cellphone. 

“Lance,, stop— that’s my ass! Your phone’s dead, anyway. Sorry.”

Lance groaned and shoved Keith away. “Fuck, fine. Just charge it so I can come grab it between Astronomy and Physics, yeah? I’ll be fucked without that thing.” 

“Good to know how much you care.”

Lance scrutinized him for a moment and then frowned, scrunching up his face. “You smell like sex. Don’t sit near me in Astronomy, yeah?”

“I”ve got time to shower,” Keith began, but Lance made a sound somewhere between a snort and a laugh.

“It starts at 10, loser. Didn’t you check your schedule?” 

Keith glanced at the clock and then back at Lance with a frown. “Wait—are you sure?”

Lance looked down at himself, then back at Keith. “You think I’d be out of bed if we didn’t have class?”

Fuck. 

“Oh, haha. Well, at least change your clothes— I think you’ve got some cum stains on those pants of yours—” 

Keith yanked out the phone and lobbed it straight at his friend’s head. “No one was fucking in clothes.” 

“TMI, Keith.”

“You _asked_.” 

Lance threw up his hands before yanking open their dorm’s door. “Whatever. Just do something about that smell. You staaaaank, bro.” 

Keith didn’t have enough time to take a shower, though he did have just enough time to change to a different t-shirt.

He did his best to clean up the traces of his cum still on his stomach, but an actual shower would have done a ton better than just a crappy wetwipe. 

Thank god it was only one class, and then Keith would be free for the rest of the week.

_And I’ll get to jerk off in the shower for the rest of my life thinking of Shiro’s face… and I’m pathetic._

Keith managed to grab his phone off the table, making sure _not_ to plug in Lance’s, before heading off to Astronomy 101 with a Dr. T.S. Wallace.

Keith’s crappy flip phone may not have been able to do much, but it definitely could show the time, and the time was five minutes late for his first university class with T.S. Wallace— the famed professor that Adam said was a tight-ass with a superiority complex.

Keith had heard Adam go on and on about the man’s husband, a physics professor that Adam had helped TA for the spring before. The other Wallace was a lot nicer, but Keith was pretty sure Adam was just a lazy asshole. 

He should have known, should have been smart, should have been something more than just a dumb virgin, just like Adam had called him.

It was the entire reason he walked into his Astronomy 101 class to stare at his Grindr hookup, the god in the flesh, the one and only Takashi Shirogane— sans his ex-husband’s last name— 

The ex-husband he left because of a slutty TA.

Keith dropped his phone.

Shiro dropped his whiteboard marker. 

Keith Arus was many things, but a dumb virgin he certainly was _not_. 

Well.

No longer virgin, sure. 

Dumb?

Yeah.

Definitely.

**Author's Note:**

> Just so you all know, Shiro and Keith get through a very awkward semester and then go on a proper date. They end up getting married and spending the rest of their lives looking at the stars and adopting fur babies.


End file.
